Friday, September 9, 2016


It has been a tough year.  It started Christmas Day when I could not get hold of my dad to wish him Merry Christmas.  When his wife finally answered the phone she told me for three days he was asleep.  He had fallen and they went to the hospital, but he was out now and he sleeps all the time.  The third day, I told her I would just see what I needed to do to wake him up. She called me back later and told me that she had put him in the nursing home.  Of all days...on Christmas.  I went to go see him the next day.  Apparently the fall that he had taken that put him there was caused by (in his words), the "kids" were pushing me too fast and hit a bump and I flew out of the wheelchair.  His 2nd vertebra was cracked.  He fell the next day in the nursing home and broke his clavicle. Although my sister and I had a power of attorney, his wife told us there was new on.  We found out later that it was a fraudulent document, but it was too late to do anything. The care in the nursing home was not good and they did not care for him.  His health declined to where he could not get out of the bed and he did not have use of his arms, so he could not get a drink of water and they did not give him enough to drink.  He also cut way back on eating.  His wife being the great woman she was, kept taking him alcohol to drink in the home so he could not take his medication.  He "coded" at the nursing home and the hospital did miracles in saving his life. He was on a breathing machine and if they took it out, he was not strong enough to breathe on his own and would die.  He told the doctor that he understood if it was removed that he would die and he said that was what he wanted.  We asked the doctor to wait until his wife and her family got there, so we would disconnect him in the afternoon.  As soon as they did, she said "Well now that that is done, let's go eat."  She turned and walked out of the room and kept getting mad because her family was not following her. My sister and I and our husbands stayed with dad until the end.  He passed away on January 28, 2016.  I took a picture and you can see his spirit leaving his body.  While he was in the hospital is when we discovered that the documents that had been given to all of his healthcare providers appeared to be fraudulent document.  It did not look like his signature and his name is not spelled correctly.  That sent the legal department in a tizzy.  We discovered that she had him declared mentally incompetent on August 24, 2015 and changed all his beneficiaries that same day so that she would get 100% instead of the 50% he had designated.  The attorneys we spoke with said that we would have to sue Fidelity and you know that wouldn't work.  So we didn't file a lawsuit to get any money.
She had also convinced dad to have his body go to medical research and it would be cremated.  Okay. When they were through, they would send it to her and she and her family promised they would let us know so we could have the ashes.  As luck goes, she got a brain tumor and had surgery in March. She survived the surgery, but it was malignant.  She passed away about 3 weeks ago.  I found out today that they are going to have a memorial for her on his birthday and that since they did  not pick up the certified mail or respond to the attempts that the medical center had made to get the ashes to them, they threw them in a garden. None of my fathers last requests were ever granted.  My family does not get any inheiretance.  We have spoken to several attorneys and there does not appear to be anything we can do.  I at least wanted his ashes to put them where he requested, but now that won't happen.